Friday, August 07, 2009

Consistency or lack thereof

I like consistency. I like having a routine and a plan for the day, for the week, etc. I usually deliberately put variety into the routine, but knowing that I do x from 8-9 and then y from 9-10 works really well for me. Sadly, the summer has not been the least bit consistent or routine. In some ways, of course, that's a good thing. Playing things by ear can be fun and opportunities can arise that wouldn't otherwise. But all those things I wanted to do this summer, well, they didn't get done. It's not that I didn't do anything, but I didn't do all that I wanted. I poked at things a bit. I had a few projects and presentations here and there, but nothing *big* got done.

I'm trying to decide if I'm rationalizing or if it's just really hard for me to be productive when the schedule gets out of whack. For instance, this week, we were away for the first couple of days and that just messed things up for me for the rest of the week. For the last three weeks, we've had this weird violin lesson schedule that had us doing something different every day. I can't get into a groove. If a schedule is shot, rather than try to pick up the pieces, I just say, oh well, guess I'll spend the day reading blogs or playing WoW.

Plus, there's the kid interruptions. Some of these come from the kids--i.e., they ask if they can go to the neighbor's or if it's okay to have ice cream. Some of these are from me--i.e., I tell them they need to spend some time reading or playing outside, etc. And there's the job of feeding them. And these seem to happen every hour or so. In fact, just now, I got asked if they could play on the Playstation. Sigh.

I started doing some seriously deep cleaning and clutter removal, but that's now at a snail's pace. I get to a stopping point and then it's days before I get back to it and I'm almost back where I started by the time I start again. And exercise? Well, the kids and I did some things together, but that's really fallen by the wayside. We leave for another trip in a couple of weeks, which is going to throw things into disarray once again.

My senior year in college, I stacked all of my classes on Tuesday and Thursday and took on a waitressing job. Plus I was applying to grad schools, was running the Literary Arts Festival and serving as an officer in my sorority. Not to mention, dating and generally having a reasonable social life. I was never more productive. I worked in the early evenings, so I spent my time before work completing assignments and working on grad school applications. By the time I was off work, I was free. I think I just need a fairly full schedule to make things work for me. Having all this time yawning before me is difficult to manage. I have had no problem earlier in the summer filling that time (in part because I had deadlines then), but now, with 4 weeks to go before school begins, I'm floundering around.

I think that's mostly okay. This is the first time in about 10 years the kids have had me to themselves and have themselves had this kind of unstructured time. We don't know what next summer will bring. It may be just like this or it may be filled with camp and work and a hard core schedule. So while I might lament the lack of productivity, I know that I can always get back to it when school starts, but the kids will only be around for so long.