Saturday, August 20, 2005

Internal Debate

I've been debating this for a while and have probably written about it before, but now I absolutely must make a decision. I want to go to my college reunion in a couple of months. My college happens to be located in the same city as my mother. I am thinking about going and not telling my mother that I'm going. I would stay in a hotel and it's unlikely that our paths would cross.

But, how horrible is that? Phantom just wrote a wonderful post about why she puts up with her parents on vacation when she has so much trouble dealing with them. I feel similarly about my mother. It is so stressful to spend time with her. My father suggests I be honest with her. Tell her I'm going but not staying with her. That would require a conversation I'm not sure I will ever be ready to have. I might have to explain that I don't feel comfortable with her, that I feel even less comfortable with her husband.

If I were bringing the kids, this would be a no-brainer. She loves them and I wouldn't deny her the right to see them. But it's just me, and I'd like to have a relaxing and fun trip and not be constantly fighting her. What would you do?